Getting It Off Your Chest – When is It Time to Own Up?
Is a problem shared really a problem halved . . . and does using people to vent emotions really bring freedom from the harmful effect of negative feelings?
It can be quite liberating to share our problems . . . to get things off our chest. The subsequent release of emotional energy can be beneficial . . . but only to a limited extent.
Over time, releasing and unloading . . . or ‘talking cures’ . . . not only loses efficacy but with continued use actually makes you worse.
That is because when venting to feel better, a dark Self continues to nurture ‘under the radar,’ and as the individual basks in fleeting emotional comfort . . . he doesn’t change.
Yes, there is, of course, a correlation between the venting of emotions and abstinence from obsessive behaviors, like alcohol and drug abuse. But it is an answer that is short-termed.
The Fixes Become Addicting
To remain in control, you are compelled to return to these devices, over and over. And that is simply another dependency. You become fixated on the understanding ear of a listener, frequently placing them on a pedestal, empowering friends, confidants, even professional therapists with an undeserved authority that isn’t good for them to have.
If any of these are of weak character, they will become excited by your weaknesses . . . and go mad with the power you have given them to control you. As you sense your own energy being sucked out, you come to resent your own vulnerability for them. The god you have created, who you once thought you loved, now becomes your personal tormentor.
This is how you come to hate those you’ve once appointed to love you. This bizarre yet familiar phenomenon is seen in cults, unhealthy life-coach affinities, addictive 12-Step sponsorship, and yes, even in a majority of marriages.
Sharing Put to Good Use
Don’t get me wrong, sharing does have a value. A problem communicated will immediately feel lighter to bear. But additional problems, fabricated in the thinking brain, always resurface when the underlying cause is not addressed.
Discreet confession to the right person is beneficial. Those right persons being so few it would be exceptional if you had a single one in your life. But the broad airing of dirty laundry before the world, though feeling good for a short while, only causes those with a need to feel godlike to judge.
You tempt them to fail, just to experience a brief, self-centered fix of guilt mitigation. The guilt soon returns, and you cultivate an unwholesome dependance on even more self-centered confession.
You might even implicate others without their permission, transforming your personal need for relief into a klatch of gossip. This is acting out of control, under the management of something Dark and angry within. How gross.
Yes, you Bible thumpers . . . the Scripture does speak of ‘confessing’ to one another. But those ‘others’ are not the people you are meeting in your lifetime. That advice from James, son of Mary and brother of Jesus of Nazareth, goes to the already spiritually awakened and God-conscious members of the twelve tribes. It bears repeating: Discreet confession to the ‘right’ person is beneficial.
This is how people become addicted to their therapists, to recovery dogmas, and 12-Step meetings—or religions, churches, and cults. To lovers! It is also why they become socially reliant on those who indeed seem ‘compassionate’ . . but who in that exchange of emotional saliva soon turn scheming and dictatorial.
The Source of All Narcissism
Please watch this three minute clip from the documentary “Rage to Revenge.” Researched by Brad J. Bushman, this clip clearly shows that expressing anger, instead of releasing one from pent up negative emotional energy, actually reinforces and promotes aggressive behavior. It does not release the individual from it.
Keep in mind that this is a scientific study. Scientists, clinicians and researchers don’t know why this phenomenon is so. They can’t know it. They can’t because the cause is of metaphysical origin going far beyond scientific study.
Frankly, it is over their heads. Indulging in emotional energy feeds a dark Thing residing within each individual. It hungers for Its food . . . hate. And each time It feeds It gets even more hateful. The more It nourishes the bigger it grows.
This is the source of all the narcissism, selfish behavior and self-centeredness known to mankind. It isn’t even human behavior. It’s a contagious subhuman condition that no one can successfully fight off once they’ve been infected.
It is Possible to Change
Unless one is transformed internally, changing from within by waking up and standing back from the stream of thinking to become unaffected . . . overwhelming negative emotions always return. There remains a chronic, spiritual affliction resulting in much unnecessary suffering, and a dire need to find a permanent cure.
Fortunately, there is real, permanent cure and it works for all obsessive behaviors, bad habits, vices, addictions, and even bad ‘feelings’. But it means going to the source. Do you know where that source is? It is so close.
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Insightful and helpful advice. I needed to know why I still haven’t overcome certain religious gurus that I look for information about dealing with my life.